I've been wanting to post something like this for some time, but now seemed like as good of time as any. With everything happening in the world, and the many bills being passed against trans folk, I wanted to share about the people that have touched my life.
I remember the first time I met a trans woman. I was 16 and I didn't know anything about it. I had some vague awareness about the existence of trans people, but that was it. I was a student at a job corps facility and living in a dorm with about 40 other women at the time. I remember hearing everyone gossiping about the arrival of a new student. I won't name names, but let's call her Jasmine. There was bit of a mix up and the staff were completely unaware that she was trans and didn't really know where to put her. After a meeting they decided to put her in one of the mens dorms. The dorm was empty when she was given her room and started to unpack. Everyone was released from their trades (classes) at around the same time, and were required to go back to dorm and change out of their work cloths. The guys in her hall saw her and immediately lost it. They started shouting and swinging on her, within minutes all 60 of the dorms male residents were squeezed into the hall and trying get to her. The head staff member of the dorms had run for help immediately and by some miracle, multiple staff members were able to put themselves between Jasmine and the raging mob, and get her out of the fire exit at the end of the hall. The staff were terrified to try to put her in one of the other men's dorms, so they made arrangements to ensure she had a single room in the women's dorm. I heard about all this from my then roommate. She was anxious at the time bout the idea of a trans person being in the dorm. I didn't know why she was anxious but it made me anxious, until I actually saw Jasmine. I had met her earlier that day and chatted with her, and never realized anything. She was just a girl. A tall girl with some bulk, but it was a trade school that primarily focused on construction trades, and a lot of the girls matched that description. For the first two weeks Jasmine had to have at least five other female students accompany her at all times. This was not a unique accommodation. Everytime we got new female students they needed to be escorted for the first couple weeks and no male students were allowed to be in the dorm during that time or even in front or back of the dorm. These rules had been looser when I first arrived and grew stricter during my two years there. They existed because guys had been bombarding new girls in literal groups, trying to be the first ones to get a shot at the "new meat", their words. The fact of the matter was, there were three mens dorms holding 60 students each, and one women's dorm holding only 40. We were heavily outnumbered and what happened to Jasmine was what we were all scared of. Getting ganged up on. Because off this, the student dorm leaders attached to her quickly and soon did everyone else. Even my roommate who was initially nervous became best friends with jasmine after a day or two. Jasmine was frankly amazing, and we became close fast. I was awkward and shy, barely talked, and was extremely uncomfortable with my body and femininity. She kinda adopted me. She encouraged me to be more outspoken and confident, gave me cloths because she was one of the few close to my size and helped me figure out my style, taught me to do my makeup, and how to walk in heels, and helped me out of a really bad relationship I was to naive to realize was draining me. She was funny, and loud, and beautiful, and ultimately helped me partially figure out who I am after having previously lived a very isolated and controlled life. I wish I was a better writer to fully express how dear she became to me. She finished her work fast and graduated early, and we lost contact (we were pretty much cut of from the outside world at Job Corps, so falling outs were common), but I remember her often.
The next trans woman I met I didn't even now was trans at the time, but to be fair neither did she. She was still presenting as a man at the time, but she still had an impact on me. We'll call her Nelly. She I also met at Job corps. Nelly was a student who worked in the sign out office in her free time and we had to go to her whenever we wanted to leave. It was a hot summer day, 100 degrees out and I was wearing a long black jacket. When she saw me and my friends checking out to go on the Hocking trail, she just about smacked me upside the head and demanded to know just what the hell I was thinking, trying to go out in the sun like that. I waited for the other students in the office to leave and awkwardly told her I was to embarrassed. She very gently asked me hy I was so embarrassed and I explained I had a lot of scares. I didn't tell her what they were from but I could tell from the look she gave me that she had a pretty good idea. She took my hands in both of hers and told me very firmly that I was beautiful, that I was so strong and I had NOTHING to be embarrassed about. She was a totally stranger, but I actually cried because no one had said anything like that to me before. We became good friends after that. We spent lots of time together in the library and the art room. She helped me feel more comfortable with my masculinity, again sharing cloths, being the only person there who would cut my hair the length I wanted (I had been rejected before by other students because they didn't want to ruin my ability to get a boyfriend, can so sense my eyes rolling.) She was one of the first people I actually told about my upbringing and my childhood, we unfortunately had a lot in common in that regard. He deserved better. She was so sweet and so caring. She hd been there muh longer than me and graduated. We lost contact but months later on a group trip into town I saw her again. She had started transition, told me her new name, he be job, he new boyfriend. After I graduated we would chat from time to time on Facebook then she went quite for a bit and her account disappeared. I like to believe that he's doing well and just deleted her account to get away from relatives.
Not long before I graduated job corps my sister came out to me through the only email service I had found that wasn't blocked on our dorm computers. It's funny how I hadn't known much about trans folks only two years prior, but when she told me she was a girl, it just clicked into my brain like "oh yeah that totally makes sense." She had always been interested in more feminine things and trouble in school for "walking, talking, and acting feminine" even trying for years to convince our mother to let her grow her hair out and pierce her ears. After she told me I came out to her as bisexual. She was the first in our family to know. Our mother didn't believe her but "humoured" her thinking she'd get over it quickly. After I graduated my mother would try to make fun of her behind her back to me and belittle her. Few things have pissed me off more then that and I fought back blow for blow standing up for my sister. It's been several years since then. Our mom says she's "over the trans thing" my sister tells me differently. You'll be pleased to know she's bought a cat, became a fairly popular fan fic author, is working on some original novels, and is making her own indie game with a trans lead.
Next we have my former coworker who we'll call Al. Al wasn't out when we met, still presenting as a woman. We became best friends, goofing off, sharing books, bonding over my past family situations and his current family situations. He first came out to me as pan, then later as masc presenting non-binary. I was the first person he ever came out to and I felt so trusted. When he got shit for shaving his head, I shaved my head. When I got shit for dyeing my hair, he dyed his. When he started dressing more masc so did I, when I'd get harassed by men at work, hed roast the hell out of them. We confides in each other, stood by each other, and are still close. He moved a couple towns over with his partner who is also masc presenting non-binary, but we still chat frequently and plan on visiting them soon.
And last but certainly not least, my many trans friends in the writing community on Twitter. Too many to name but two authors nearest and dearest to my heart Gabe and Kira. Kira thank you for supporting me, listening to me, allowing me to confide in you, and always being there to answer questions on my own journey with gender. Your books have touched me deeply. Gabriel, you've made me laugh, you've made me cry, you've offered me so much advice on being and other, and hyped me up so much I wouldn't have half the work done I do now without your support. Your books have encouraged me. I adore both of you and look forward to many more years of friendship, especially through these trying times.
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